I posted this on social media last week, but I wanted to make sure this message lived on on the blog.
It’s been quite the summer, and this quote really hit home today. The past few years have been truly transformational for me, as I finally have learned to tell that negative voice inside of my head telling me I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, and especially thin enough to shut. the. hell. up.
Is coming to this realization easy? No. Every single day I have to look in the mirror and face a person who is physically different from what I became accustomed to for years.
I had the “perfect body.” I had the thigh gap, weighed the idealistic 120lbs, ate a perfect 1500 calories per day, and did my daily cardio religiously. I did it all perfectly and never let myself slip.
And I was absolutely miserable.
I spent my days harboring degrading thoughts about my body, exercising obsessively, counting calories, and incessantly worrying about everyone else’s opinions about me that I somehow forgot that my opinion of myself was more important.
I now measure my worth differently than the number on the scale or my jean size. I’ve learned the value in becoming strong, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I can now deadlift 250# three times. I can squat 200#. I can chest press with 50# dumbbells (for reps!). I can complete a full farmers carry lap with 45# plates in each hand. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, and yet I weigh probably 30-50lbs more than I did for so long (I don’t weigh myself).
And you know what? Gaining that weight didn’t mean my life ended. It meant my life began. I finally stepped out of my box and made friends who, funny enough, didn’t give a shit that I weighed more or had to buy a whole new wardrobe to fit my new body.
I’m slowly learning that I’m a pretty cool person, as are each and every one of you who have stuck with me this long to read this post. Together, let’s work to change the norm and find peace without ourselves as we are for who we are. Yes, we can still want to change and grow and even look differently, BUT those changes need to come from a place of self love, not self hate. Trust me, life is much easier on that side.
Does this resonate with you? Let me know! I'd love to start a much needed conversation.