oborer@hotmail.com

Lincoln, NE

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  • Olivia Borer

Envy & Jealousy


It's very easy in today's world to get trapped in the envy and jealousy cycle. We see what others have, compare it to our own lives, and instantly feel down.

But therein lies the problem - we see what others have, but we don't actually know what they have or what's going on in their lives. That's where the problems begin. We compare our lives to what we perceive, not what we actually know.

Obviously, we know everything about our own lives. We live inside of our own head 24/7, but we never can truly understand or know the lives of others. It's just not possible!

Taking that into consideration, when we make these comparisons, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.

On the other hand, what we perceive as something that we desire in another person (their job, money, body, etc) might not actually be something they're happy with.

Say for instance you really admire someone you see every day at the gym. You wish you had her arms/legs/stomach - whatever. You'd do anything to have that body type.

But what you don't realize is that she has body image struggles herself and is just as unhappy. When she looks in the mirror, she doesn't like the fact that her arms/legs/stomach look the way they do. She wishes they looked differently as well.

But on the outside, neither of you realize the struggles that the other one is having. This is the problem with the comparison/envy/jealousy game. It's a game in which neither side can win.

What in your life do you constantly compare? What do you envy in others? What causes you to feel that tinge of jealousy?

Now think about how you can reframe that those aspects of your life that you are seemingly unhappy with. Changing your thought patterns can make a huge difference!

But there's more than just changing your perspective. If what you are unhappy with is really something that bothers you, than you need to realize that nothing changes if nothing changes. If you keep doing the exact same things and living your life the same way and expect new/different results, you are going to be sorely disappointed. In order to improve a particular area of your life, you are going to have to make some adjustments.

For example, if you are constantly tired all day, every day, maybe it's time to examine your priorities. What do your caffeine intake and diet look like? Your sleep? Exercise? Stress levels? Water intake? Nothing is going to magically give you more energy (no, not even an energy drink - it makes it worse) until you fix the root cause of the problem.

Or, if you are unhappy with how your arms look, take a look at your exercise routine. If you don't have one, it's time to start one. If you are only doing cardio, it's time to switch that up too. Cardio won't build that arm muscle (sorry not sorry) like weights will.

We are, more often than not, the carpenters of our own envy and jealousy crosses. But, we also have the power to make changes when we are unhappy. Yes, it takes effort. Yes, change is hard. Yes, it's different than what we're used to, but in the end, it's always worth it.

xoxo Olivia


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